i hate crying

but i love crying

i hate the feeling of my chest constricting and not being able to breathe
but i love the feeling of simply letting go and losing control for a moment.

i hate feeling incomplete and sad and whatever brought on the waterworks
but i love feeling like i've cleansed my soul and gotten everything out of my system

i hate the mess it makes--tissues, teardrop wrinkles on paper, ink blots on my books
but i love the way it dries and leaves things barely changed on the exterior, although there has been a vast change in my interior

i hate how vulnerable i feel when i let other people see me cry
but i also hate how isolated and lost i feel when i am crying alone, which is most of the time
i love that crying in front of someone creates a bond


i don't know why i published this